Free resource · With Jes, mom of three
Transitions don't have to become a battle.
A simple, ABA-informed visual tool that helps your child understand what's happening next, communicate what they need, and practice moving through change — even when they're disappointed.
Get My Free ToolMade with heart by Jes, Founder of Empowered ABA, using principles of behavior science, functional communication, reinforcement, and emotion coaching.
What's inside
- First → Next transition visual
- Emotion identification
- “What Can Help?” choices
- Parent instructions
- Guidance for choosing high-value supports
- Examples of transition-supporting choices
- A reminder that a child can be upset AND still complete the transition
Transitions are skills.
Children may struggle with transitions because they are:
- They are losing access to something they love — the fun is genuinely ending.
- They are being asked to begin something less preferred.
- They are uncertain about what comes next.
- They are having difficulty communicating what they need.
- They are experiencing genuine disappointment.
- Their flexibility and regulation skills are still growing.
We don't need to eliminate those feelings. We can teach children what to do with them.
“I can be upset and still switch activities.”
What can help?
The tool includes a simple framework: you offer your child two choices. Both choices must:
- 1Be acceptable to you.
- 2Actually be available.
- 3Have meaningful reinforcing value for your child.
- 4Help your child move THROUGH the transition — rather than avoid it.
What does “high reinforcing value” mean?
Something has high reinforcing value when your child genuinely wants, enjoys, or seeks it enough that access to it can make a difficult behavior or task easier.
Good examples
- “Do you want to hold my hand or hop to the car?”
- “Music or your fidget in the car?”
- “Do you want to carry your backpack or should I?”
What to avoid
Your child is told it's time to leave the park. They protest. You respond: “Okay, five more minutes.” Repeatedly doing this can unintentionally teach: “When I'm told to leave, protesting gets me more time.”
We want the support choices to help your child successfully complete the transition — not avoid it.
From families
You're not doing this alone.
Shared anonymously, with permission.
The First → Next visual didn't stop my daughter from being sad about leaving the park — it stopped the battle, because she finally knew what came next.
Offering two choices I can actually live with changed our mornings. It's still hard sometimes — but it's no longer a fight.
'Your child can be upset and still make the transition.' That one sentence took the pressure off both of us.
Send me the free Transition Tool
Fill in your child's First → Next moment, their feelings, and your two choices below — then print or save as PDF. Your tool appears on screen right after you opt in.
This resource is educational and is not a substitute for individualized medical, mental-health, or other professional care.